Burn The White Flag

Because I lived in Washington when I was sixteen, I have been driving in the rain about as long as I have been driving. Even though I don’t like driving in the rain, it is something I am relatively comfortable with. Which is good, because I drove in a lot of rain this summer on […]

The Gatorade Conspiracy

Cami and I were out running errand this afternoon and before we came home, she expressed a desire for Gatorade. As we were walking out of the store she asked if I wanted any but I declined (there is like a 3% chance I might be getting sick but if I just ignore it, it’ll […]

Happy Birthday Giant Squid!

Today is the Giant Squid’s Birthday so I thought I would explain that nickname. Clearly, I am a big fan of metaphors. But despite my best intentions, they don’t always come across how I mean them. Like today when I told my parents I felt like we had a mutually beneficial parasitic relationship. Obviously, they […]

Joke One-upmanship

By nature, I’m not a traditionally competitive person. I never get worked up over athletic events and at school whenever we had contests I really didn’t care which class brought in the most canned food and got to pick which teacher had to spend the day dressed as a giant turkey. However, on occasion the […]

Get Some & The Cocky Johns

*Originally written February 2016* Yesterday I woke up with every intention of going to a career fair at my Alma Mater. And by “every intention” I mean I had sort of thought about maybe dragging myself there and suffering through the small talk and crushing weight of my unknown future. So when Dad found me […]